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How To Deal With Delayed Ejaculation

Retarded ejaculation may be defined as recurrent inability to attain orgasm despite lengthy sexual contact.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders(DSM-IV-TR), places this disorder among the sexual dysfunctions, along with rapid ejaculation.

A man affected by delayed ejaculation cannot attain orgasm following a normal sexual excitement phase. The man in question may regularly experience problems in reaching orgasm, or may be unable to attain orgasm at all.

A normal orgasm is made up of two stages: emission followed by ejaculation. The word emission refers to a sensation of approaching ejaculation caused by contractions of the prostate gland, seminal vesicles, and urethra associated with generalized muscle tension, contractions of the perineum, and instinctual pelvic thrusting. Orgasm is succeeded by a period of resolution which is marked by feelings of relaxation and well-being. There is also a period during which sexual activity is not possible. In this phase, men cannot normally respond to further sexual stimulation, will not become erect, and attain orgasm for a longer or shorter period of time.

Despite the fact that we speak of orgasm and ejaculation as though they were the same thing, they are separate processes which occur almost simultaneously.

What we know as orgasm is a peak emotional and physical sensation, whereas ejaculation is simply a reflex action Which occurs when we are aroused enough to stimulate a reflex occurring at the lower end of the spinal cord. Some men have been able to recognize the individual elements of the two processes, enabling them to experience ongoing multiple orgasms without ejaculation. Once ejaculation takes place, a period of time to recover is required prior to a subsequent orgasm.

The sensation of orgasm differs between men, and individual orgasms may differ in the same person. All orgasms are marked by certain characteristics which include regular body and pelvic contractions, elevation of the heart rate, muscle tension and the sudden release of tension.

Our sexual response cycle is under the control of a balanced interplay between the two major nervous systems, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. The sympathetic nervous system causes action whereas the parasympathetic system causes recovery and relaxation. When the penis becomes erect, its smooth muscle fibres are more relaxed and allow blood to flow into the penis. Though this sounds simple, it is an incredibly complex process mediated by complex cascade of humoral, neurological and circulatory events in which the parasympathetic nervous system plays a key role. Orgasm and ejaculation and the after effects of relaxation of the penis are predominantly functions of the sympathetic nervous system.

So while emission is controlled by the interaction of the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems, orgasm and ejaculation are predominantly under the control of the sympathetic nervous system. We know that orgasm has more to do with the brain than with the body. The fact that orgasm occurs during sleep is supportive of this concept. In any event, this may be disrupted by various causes.

If delayed ejaculation only occurs under a particular set of circumstances, for example with only one sexual partner, it is known as "situational" rather than "generalized" delayed ejaculation.

The cause of delayed ejaculation may be related to some physical condition, but is more often psychological. The physical causes include hormonal problems such as hypogonadism, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, and excessive production of the hormone prolactin. Other physical causes include some drugs, including drugs to treat high blood pressure, and antidepressants.

The most common causes of delayed ejaculation are psychological. Some likely candidates include depression, anxiety, and fear of getting the partner pregnant. Other possible factors include an unsatisfactory sexual relationship with one's partner, a history of strict sexual taboos in the family.

A diagnosis of delayed ejaculation depends on the following factors being noticeable: a persistent or recurrent delay in, or absence of, orgasm following a level of normal sexual excitement that would be expected to produce orgasm. Most males who have delayed ejaculation also complain of anxiety, shame and frustration, and low sexual self-esteem. Although this particular sexual problem usually occurs during partner sex, it can happen during masturbation as well! If it occurs during masturbation, it's more likely to be about the man's body than any feelings associated with his partner. Male orgasmic disorder may be part of a wider set of sexual malfunctioning that can range across erectile dysfunction, ejaculation problems such as premature ejaculation or ejaculation into the bladder, and low sexual desire.

Retarded ejaculation is found in all men. It may develop around puberty or it may start later in life.

If some obvious physical cause is linked to male orgasmic disorder, the cure may be easy; for example, cessation of excessive drinking or a change in medications. But in most cases, counselling will be advisable. Since most men are too embarrassed to seek professional advice, the availability of self-help programs on the internet is a blessing. Treatment usually requires the partner's assistance for both the psychological and the physical aspects of the treatment. Behavioural programs can allow a man to recover the ability to ejaculate normally quite easily and quickly.

The author is the writer of How To Beat Delayed Ejaculation. You can find more information at Men Come First!.

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